Something Shattered
by Didget
Summary: What Snape did to Hermione. Why she changed. And who found out. WARNING overall the themes are very dark & quiet sickening. Please no flames. (What I did and Why I changed contained within).
1. What I Did

**Au; WARNING! This story is about Snape raping Hermione. If you don't like it or are a victim of sexual assault, DON'T READ THIS! If you read this & you are under eighteen please don't tell me. **

Disclaimer; if I owned Harry Potter, would I be writing shit like this?

Rating; highest possible on this site, M or something.

**What I Did**

I reclined in my chair, slowly twisting a bottle of dusty Oblivion. I thought of her…

Large brown eyes once filled with such love & kindness. I loved to see her smile. She used to smile for me. Now she can't bear to look at me, be in the same room as me. In her eyes I can see it all, the guilt, shame & loss. I regret what I did now. If I had waited, she would've come to me willingly, but as per usual I couldn't wait. She felt so good, small child-like hands trembling, trapped into my advances.

Once she had begged for it, craved what I could give her. It took just one touch to burn her, render her under my command. It didn't matter what I did to her in my anger or simply out of spite. All she wanted was me. But I was an older man who could never truly satisfy her. & when she found a real, fair relationship, I set out to ruin everything she had. I nearly destroyed her, beating her until she swore & screamed for me to stop. Soon I merely smashing her into the ground wasn't enough. I wanted what I had always wanted. Her innocence & I got it, before the red-head blood traitor had a chance. She was mine, I made sure of that. The red-head weasel left, warned off but my hand. No one else dared to touch her, I made sure of that. Still she was never the same; I had always known it would change her mind about me. She no longer thought of me in the brave, good way she used to.

Once I had warned her, told her how dangerous & controlling I was. She had laughed & kissed me, saying she could deal with whatever I did. I wonder if she knew than just how far I would go. I wonder if I went to her room now & just lay with her if she would forgive & forget. I wanted her too, so badly. I wish I hadn't forced her, just waited until once again she burned for my touch. Now she was forever turned away from me, flitching every time my hand accidently brushed her side.

Silently I placed the dusty bottle back on the shelf & stretched. I wasn't drunk but I would have what I wanted. I left, heading through the dark corridors toward her room. I hoped she would forgive me.

**If you actually read this far, you really don't have to write a review. **

**And the only reason I am writing this kind of story is for therapeutic reasons. Think of that what you will.**


	2. Why I Changed

**Disclaimer; ****Again if I owned would I write fanfiction? **

**Warning this story hints forced/non-consent sex and should not be read be anyone under eighteen. Please don't read if it will traumatise or upset you. No Flames! **

**Rated; M**

**Pairings; Hermione & Snape suggested (non-consent), Ron & Lavender as a side couple. **

**This is a continuation of 'What I Did'.**

**Why I Changed**

I sat in the common room, staring at the dwindling embers of the fire. As it got later and later into the evening my classmates had left, laughter and happiness fading in their wake. No one had even looked back to see whether I was still with them, not even Ron or Harry.

At time like this, I wish I had girlfriends I could talk too, or at least try and talk too. Every time I tried to tell anyone, the words died on my lips and memories overwhelmed me. Ron was too much of a guy to ever get what I was talking about without my having to explain it explicitly and Harry… Harry was having enough trouble with holding the world on his shoulders, doing well at school and suppressing his nightmares, he didn't need my troubles as well.

No I knew I never could explain to either of them what had changed, why I had changed. I couldn't even admit it to myself, how in the world would I ever be able to tell anyone?

As a clock chimed off I realised it was now one in the morning. Closing the book I'd been pretending to read, I silently headed up to my bed and closed the curtains. Grasping my wand, I soundlessly renewed my keep out spell and conjured a dreamless sleep potion from sick bay.

Gagging I choked it down with a glass of water and slipped between the sheets, my wand under the pillow. Trying not to cry I turned on my stomach; wrapping my arms around my body and twisted my legs together in an effort to feel safer. After what seemed like hours, the dreamless sleep finally kicked in and my mind fell into a dark heavy abyss.

In the early morning I woke with a start, my heart hammering and body shaky. I had sworn some had been in my bed with me. Desperately I tried to think logically, finally remembering where my wand was, and using it to check the strength of my spell. It was still intact. My shoulders shagged with relief as I heard the other girls in my dorm start to get up. 'I was ok, nothing had happened, it was just a nightmare I had when the potion had worn off. I was ok, I was ok, it was all just a nightmare.' I softly repeated to myself.

Struggling to wipe my face free of emotions and tears before anyone else saw me; I got up and headed towards the showers. Turning the tap on to full blast, I tried to drown out Lavender boasting about what she and Ron had been doing in his room last night. It was no use. Through the water I could clearly hear her sexual recount, and the ten minute giggling session that followed.

Frowning I turned up the water pressure even more, the jet hot water whipping across my back. As I scrubbed harder into my skin, I wished I could feel clean again. But no, instead I felt used and dirty. Before I could control it I started to cry, tears that felt ice cold compared to the scaling hot water. After a few minutes of this I pulled myself together, promising this was the last I'd cry today.

Feeling cold again I quickly got dressed, hoping no one glimpsed the massive bruise on my shoulder and upper back. It hadn't faded yet and with everything I'd been heaped on top of me, I hadn't had time to research how to magically remove it. Sighing almost bitterly I headed down to the great hall and pretended I was fine, managing to happy chat with Harry and tease Ron about Lavender over breakfast. Fixing a fake smile on my face, I headed to my first class, thanking my lucky stars it wasn't potions.

**If you've read this far, I don't really expect a review.**


	3. What I Don't Know

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Harry Potter duh. **

**Rating:**** this piece itself should be actually rated about k+**

**Warning:**** The other two stories in this series are rated M and T, but without reading both or at least one, this story may not make much sense. **

**Kindly review if you want and if it interests you, or you like reading heavier material, feel free to check out the two other stories in this series, 'What I Did' and 'Why I Changed'**

**What I Didn't Know**

You know that feeling you get? The feeling that something is very wrong… I can't seem to stop feeling it. I know something bad happened. …and I know it had something to do with Harry.

…Or Ron or Hermione…

Ok something to do with any or all three of them. Frowning I glace across the table at Harry's moody head. He isn't talking much, just slowly eating treacle tart without any of his usual happiness. Beside him, Ron is rattling on and on, about Hermione I suspect. Amused I shake my head and concentrate on my food, dinners almost over and I need to do some transfiguration homework. Quickly I cast my eyes around for Hermione; maybe she'll help me with the essay… Damn it! She isn't here.

…come to think of it, I haven't seen her since this morning potion lesson. She was acting most unlike herself; I don't think she concentrated at all. She completely failed to produce today's horribly hard potion to her usual flawless standard. It surprised me, I've never seen her have any difficulties with classwork, especially not potions. Although I recall with a grimace and a shudder that Snape was at his worst this morning, looming over all the Gryffindor's cauldrons… especially mine. I wish I had the guts to stand up to him… but I don't think I ever could. Not how Harry, Hermione and even Ron can.

Sighing I join the rest of the students in returning to their common rooms, tripping over the entrance as usual. Groaning to myself I grab my stuff and set to work, along with Seamus and Dean. Not long after Ron and Harry join us, both desperately needing to finish this week's homework, before quidditch training starts for the term. Hours later when I finally have the essay completed to a decent degree I stop work, and realise almost no one else is still up. It's about twelve, and most students have opted to go to bed and struggle to finish today's workload tomorrow.

…Almost all. Looking closely I notice Hermione is still caught up in her work, hours of effort strewn across her table. I chuckle; Hermione is almost obscured by the mounds of text books towering around her. Yawning I quietly get up to check if she knows what time it is… she doesn't, her stressed eyes widen when I tell her how late it is. Muttering under her breath, she hurriedly gathers her work in jumbled piles and starts to shove them in her bag… As I watch her I can't shake the feeling that I was missing something.

'**Hermione?' **I hesitantly ask,** 'are you ok? You seem stressed?'**… That's all I said, but it was enough to break open the floodgates. I watch as she drops to an armchair, and curls into a balls, body trembling with silent sobs. Gingerly I grasp her shoulder and pull her into an awkward hug. In my arms she shakes and cries. Being a teenage guy I had no idea what to do next… so I settled for stroking hair and making shushing noises. To my intense relief, she seems to be comforted. After a few minutes she detaches and straightens up. Hermione is too embarrassed to meet my eyes, and quickly apologises for her emotional outburst also suggesting I head to bed. I frown.

'**Hermione what's wrong? You can trust me… I know we're not really close but you look like you need to…' **I trail off…** 'Talk. What's happened that so bad that you can't tell anybody about it?'**

She starts to laugh. Slightly taken back I wait for her hysteria to turn to tears again. Eventually it does, leaving Hermione hiccupping and crying. Gently I pull her into my arms again and continue playing with her hair.

'**You know Neville, you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answers to.'** whispered Hermione at last. '**Believe me when I say nobody really wants to know what wrong with me.' **I watch helplessly as she starts to laugh again, her face covered in a stream of tears**. 'I don't think I can tell you, even if I tried. Isn't it funny! I'm meant to be the brightest witch of our age and yet I couldn't stop what happened. Not all the magic in the world can fix what's been shattered inside of me.' **

'**Hermione, who hurt you?'** I asked softly, dread building in my stomach. **'Is it someone from school?'**

She starts to laugh again, **'You could say that.'** She whispered, '**It was a teacher… and I really have to go to bed. So do you, we have class tomorrow…' **She trailed off, clearly not looking forward to tomorrow's lessons. **'Goodnight Neville… and thank you for caring.' **Hermione smiled at me, her eyes as heavy as before. **'Maybe one day I could tell you…'**

Frowning I watched her leave the room. It seemed I had to do some poking around. A quick smile flitters across my face as figuring things out always seemed to be the job of the golden trio, not me. But since nobody else was aware of the problem, it was up to me to find the culprit.

Yawning I head to bed, this could wait until the morning I think.


End file.
